The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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In a changing room someone sneezed so I instinctively said ‘bless you’ and she said ‘…who is that??’ and I said ‘me’
— Dee (@figgled) July 22, 2024
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Hurt people hurt people is what I think as I recline my plane seat because the person in front of me did.
— Taffy Brodesser-Akner (@taffyakner) July 21, 2024
I asked my grandma if she had a hard time moving to nyc from Poland as a teen & going to hs in bk knowing 0 English, & if ppl didn’t wanna be friends w her, etc. & she held my shoulder & looked me in the eyes & said, Austyn. I was gorgeous. Everyone wanted to be my friend
— clifford carmichael (@former_gcup) July 22, 2024
Having anxiety is so ridiculous, like “uh oh, they said hello instead of hey, I bet they are mad at me”
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) July 22, 2024
We call them “red onions” despite everyone knowing they’re purple, this is the type of chaos we are forced to endure
— E👒 (@Emmys) July 22, 2024
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my best friend looked so gorgeous today omg. I didn’t see her but I know she did
— reb (@rebmasel) July 21, 2024
Kamala picking a running mate pic.twitter.com/cUJ7FCOHac
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) July 21, 2024
we really living in the the most difficult section of someone’s AP gov exam in 2053
— 🍑 (@PEACHYBLACKG0RL) July 21, 2024
lol when my grandpa died he left all of his vintage playboys to his grandsons and also me . cuz i’m lesbian pic.twitter.com/06tAWhtoXv
— haley || jackie taylor’s other ear (@shaunahightower) July 20, 2024
why do finance men wear backpacks. What's inside there. The money???
— delia (@delia_cai) July 24, 2024
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I told my Jamaican coworker he doesn’t have to Americanize his accent around me. I ain’t understood a word he’s said since.
— Nik (@jacaristar) July 21, 2024
What’s funny about the coconut quote is that she’s quoting HER MOTHER. In this way the meme is forgetting the context in which it lives and all that came before it
— melissa lozada-oliva 🍴 (@ellomelissa) July 22, 2024
going to the bookstore is all about impressing the cashier with your choice. bc they have, naturally, read every book ever written
— chase (@_chase_____) July 21, 2024
It’s important as a woman to know what the thing wrong with you would be if you were a Seinfeld girlfriend
— The Only Living Dead Girl in New York (@missjellinsky) July 23, 2024
oh my bad bro pic.twitter.com/dcDz1Epmmx
— Celeste (@stargrlyceleste) July 24, 2024
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And in the midst of this all JLo had a Bridgerton themed birthday party and Ben wasn't there :( Just a lot going on generally
— Bolu Babalola is genuinely on leave 🍯&🌶 (@BeeBabs) July 22, 2024
— bebe glazer (@owlhix) July 21, 2024Overheard just now at the art store:
Customer: I don’t get why the democrats would give up and let Trump win. Why wouldn’t they at least try
Cashier: They’re going to put someone else in his place. The entire party isn’t withdrawing from the election
Customer: Ohh ok
having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you
— trash jones (@jzux) July 24, 2024
bruh why was i singing a song in the uber and the driver was like “nah u havin too much fun” and changed the song ????😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
— ⭐️IT GIRL⭐️ (@aliyahInterlude) July 22, 2024
i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages
— ava! (@F41rygirl) July 21, 2024
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Why does this feel like a threat pic.twitter.com/2QUCRfG8wG
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 20, 2024
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 23, 2024If a woman has kids: should they not be at home looking after the kids
If a woman does not have kids: wow crazy cat lady
If a woman lures kids to her cottage made of gingerbread deep down in the woods: she’s a witch
Women can’t win
Tbh I'm financially at a stage where I understand why people do fraud.
— Amna (@AmnaBaaji) July 23, 2024
— Marie lastnamé (@marieberd) July 22, 2024OUT: “making” “dinner”
IN: taking the knife and treating myself to a sliver of freshly cut Parmesan cheese 31 times in a row
whatever im bored pic.twitter.com/KpmNJiAH19
— a (@aallleeexxxxxx1) July 23, 2024
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please don’t offer your positive perspective when i’m trying to be a hater
— erica (@ericanextdooor) July 24, 2024
My clothes are looser after a week in Italy and great news, this just means all I need is to quit my job, walk 25,000+ steps a day in 95 degree heat, have no domestic responsibilities at all, and also access to an EU regulated food supply. Sustainable changes.
— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) July 25, 2024
I’m not afraid to double text, I grew up signing out and signing back in to get my crush to notice me if they were online
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) July 24, 2024
the childless cat lady rhetoric is deeply alienating. some of us are childless dog ladies.
— Anna Bower (@AnnaBower) July 25, 2024
My husband just said, “I thought it was brat” (pronounced like the sausage).
— Kristen Bartlett (@kristencheeks) July 23, 2024
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